When both parents are working in full time careers, taking care of a home and children can become a very challenging, and stressful endeavor. This is particularly true when raising small children who have been in the daily care of a nursery or day care center and parents only have a few hours of “quality time” afterwards to devote to being parents. Children are often difficult, as TV programs such as Super Nanny attest to. Children pick up on their parent’s vulnerabilities, and often capitalize on them for manipulative purposes. This can bring on increased tensions and problems of increased stress no only between parents and children but between husband and wife as well.
Working parents must deal with the wants and needs of children within a limited daily time frame which involves dropping off and pick up of children from child care centers which may be a long distance from the home. Children are usually self oriented and feelings of “I must” and “I can’t” pull harried parents in several directions, brining on even more tension and stress. Feelings of concern towards their children, accompanied by feelings of inadequacy and guilt, cause parents to develop typical symptoms of chronic stress; including irritability, less sleep, and continuous worry as to whether they are adequate parents.
Parents need to find ways to practice ways of effective stress management in order to be able cope with both the challenges of their careers along with those of raising a family. There are a number of ways in which harried parents can learn to ‘balance’ their roles of being both career persons and loving parents. Some of these include:
1. Taking time to learn ways to relax when not involved with children’s wants and needs. Simple body relaxation techniques include simply taking deep breaths and afterwards slowing exhaling. This enables the mind to receive more oxygen and also makes one feel more relaxed. Another method is to tighten muscles in hands, legs, etc., and then slowly release them. Spouses can also practice various types of body massage on each other, especially on the shoulders, neck and arms.
2. Become as organized as possible, including the performance of all household
chores, payment of various bills, etc.. Write down all required tasks, even simple ones that would normally be consigned to memory as persons under stress often forget the most simplest of activities.
3. When children are finally in bed and “all is quiet on the Western Front” tired
spouses should take a ‘mental vacation’ and use this time to communicate with each other as well as simply enjoy each other’s company. All the problems of both work and family should be put on a “back burner’ and this period of time should be used to simply relax and forget the problems of the day.
Finally, if some problems seem unsolvable, parents should seek the advice of others including other family members (parents, siblings, etc.), friends, religious community leaders, and even from the internet. Parents need to know that “lifelines” are available if needed, and not try to solve seemingly unsolvable problems which only create more stress.
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